Why is that when you feel the world is against you, it feels like everything is going to fail? You know those days I’m talking about when person a, b, and c are angry with you for some reason and it just ruins everything else. I don’t know about you but when I know someone is mad at me, it’s the end of the world. That feeling of coming up short on pleasing someone is literally the worst thing to me. I can’t stand knowing that I disappointed someone for whatever reason. It literally dictates every single thing after that observation; how I feel, what I do, my attitude, how I talk to others. I become so concerned and make it a mission to get to the bottom of it and fix whatever needs to be fixed. My life becomes surrounded around that thought for hours, days or sometimes even weeks until I either find a way to salvage it or gain the strength to understand it’s beyond me.
Now let me ask you why doesn’t the same thing happen when I disappoint God. With certainty I know that I do something hurtful towards God, intentional or unintentional, way more often than I hurt or disappoint others. So why do I not make it my life mission to fix the problem I created with God like I make it my life mission to fix the problem I created with a friend or acquaintance or even relative. Does God not deserve my maximum attention and focus more than anyone or anything? This realization disappointed me so much. To know that I worry way more about the earthly problem I create rather than the heavenly problems I create drives me insane. Sometimes I actually put God second to people down here without even realizing it. So what if someone is upset at you. If you’re doing what you can to fix an earthly problem then leave it at that. Why concern yourself with something you can no longer control. You can’t control how someone feels about you. But with God it’s different. God will always love you and that will never change but there’s more. Why are you not concerned with changing that sin that you know upsets God like your concerned with fixing friendships. Why are not concerned with giving time to God, time that He deserves, like you give time to your friends. As I’m writing this I’m literally shaking my head at my own self. It’s so sad that I even understand the importance of what needs to change and I’m not making more of an effort to actually change it.
The book of St Matthew says in chapter 22 verses 37 and 38 “Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment.” How are we (I) fulfilling that commandment by not even doing so much as putting Him first? How do we truly love God with all our heart, mind and soul when we’re more concerned with fixing the earthly problems that we become so invested in? How do we (I) truly love God with all our mind heart and soul when talking to or hanging out with my friends is the main focus for the day. No, truly loving God with all your heart, mind and soul is seeking Him first thing when I wake up and last thing before I go to bed, not always being successful but at least making a sincere effort to. Truly loving God with all your heart, mind, and soul is seeking Him throughout your day whether it’s talking to Him about your problems or whether it’s finding a way to serve His people and most importantly sincerely making an effort to improving those things your struggling with everyday. Things such as trying to quit cursing or saying or doing things you know are immoral. That there is truly loving God with all your heart, mind and Soul.
God deserves my attention and focus way more than these silly and petty problems do down here. We (I) become so concerned with what people think of us and try so hard to be the best and look the best for other people but what about God. Why do we not try this hard for him? I can think of a million things throughout the day that can change for you to shift your priorities from earthly to heavenly but the question is do you want to shift it. Are you going to continue making things like what your friends think of you more important than what God thinks of you. Think about it…you already know that no one loves you more than God and that’s a fact. So why is the love not reciprocated?
For the longest time I’ve been concerned with this issue where I really cared about what people thought that I totally forgot to care about what God thought. I became a people pleaser that I forgot to become a God pleaser. I did stuff for people and thought I was doing stuff for God simultaneously but it wasn’t completely the case. You can serve His people but you have to remember why you’re doing it. You’re not doing it for the recognition from your friends or from your elders; you’re doing it for God. That’s so easily forgotten and it’s sad. Recognition is so irrelevant compared to the big picture. Changing that perspective on the matter is doable; you just have to want it.